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theonion:OXFORD, ENGLAND—Providing insight into the culture of...

theonion:SPRINGFIELD, IL—Feeling anxious about broaching the...

theonion:CANTON, OH—Noting the deep and genuine mutual fondness...

theonion:LOS ANGELES—Gushing that yesterday’s Oscars had...

theonion:Asshole Moves To Part Of City Where All The Assholes...

theonion:Teacher In Cash-Strapped Ohio School District Forced...

theonion:WASHINGTON—Explaining that there was no...

theonion:Campbells Unveils One Big Can-Sized Noodle

theonion:Swans In Committed Relationship Barely Ever Arch...

theonion:New Workplace Diversity Initiative Kills One White...

theonion:Stephen Hawking Leaves Behind Beautiful Legacy Of...

theonion:Editorial Cartoon: ‘The Hoax On You’

theonion:WASHINGTON—Acknowledging the gender discrimination she...

theonion:Tom Hanks Vows He Won’t Stop Until He Has Portrayed...

theonion:WASHINGTON—Lamenting that even the purest hearts were...

theonion:DOVER, DE—Getting quickly sidetracked by the mistakes...

theonion:BOSTON—Growing more agitated the harder he tried...

theonion:“It’s great to know that when I see a story about...

theonion:Mark Zuckerberg: ‘You Should Be Grateful All Your...

double-cleanse:theonion:Local Oaf Not Sure What Part Of...