Textsfromvoltron

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(512):you never know when you’ll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator

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(201):Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station…I’

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(216):The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn

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(985):shut up i haven’t hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago

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(978):OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING

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(937):he is so annoying(513):so stop sleeping with him(937):yeah but he is so hot when i’m dru

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(314):Okay so I’ve been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you’re a p

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(605):EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT

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TextsFromVoltron(813):I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED

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TextsFromVoltron(402):how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?

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TextsFromVoltron(540):She said we should all be mermaids since didn’t breathe for 9 months ins

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TextsFromVoltron(716):I’m like, not good at living.

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TextsFromVoltron(913):I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full

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TextsFromVoltron(647):I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump… Gotta stop watchin

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TextsFromVoltron(831):I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of

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TextsFromVoltron(315):I’m on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.

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TextsFromVoltron(609):It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they

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TextsFromVoltron(406):Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind

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TextsFromVoltron(613):sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.

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TextsFromVoltron(864):she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.

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TextsFromVoltron(702):I know this is really fun but I don’t wanna glow anymore

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TextsFromVoltron(417):TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT

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TextsFromVoltron(781):not a day goes by that I don’t wish you were here or I there. Today it w

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TextsFromVoltron(206):I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.

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TextsFromVoltron(503):HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!

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TextsFromVoltron(609):yeah, i’m probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho

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TextsFromVoltron(989):return my video game

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TextsFromVoltron(608):Can’t tell if it’s the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that

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